Vote Beer

I was looking on the Treasury website this afternoon for Budget 2010 documents and came across the appropriation for Vote Racing. After my initial thoughts of ‘why the hell are we spending public money propping up the Racing industry?’ I had the brilliant idea – why not also steal use some public money for Beer!?! Naturally, I would become Minister of Beer and this would be my 2010 appropriation for Vote Beer:

• $131 for 3000ml bottle of Chimay Blue from www.beerstore.co.nz for the Ministry of Beer.

• $250,000 for research project into viability of nuclear-powered, chilled tanker to ship cheap and fresh Budvar from the Czech Republic to New Zealand.

• $10,000 to lock up Doug Sellman and other Healthists in a beige room and be fed nothing but strained peas to a soundtrack of Enya as suggested by Eric at Offsetting Behaviour.

• $5,000,000 to install Renaissance Stonecutter drinking fountains in all National Parks.

• $20 to implement new excise rate on all alcohol of $0.00 per Litre.

• $50,000 for Social Networking initiatives to promote Epic beer.

• $2,000,000 for compulsory Home Brewing courses at all Tertiary Institutions.

• $700,000 to promote voluntary malt quota of 100% amongst mainstream brewers. Catch phrases include: ‘All Malt: Yeah Right’; ‘Less Advertising , More Malt’.

• $1,000 for all-grain Home Brew set-up for the Minister of Beer.

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